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Break me off a piece of that...beat salad.

I went for a medium paced walk today but it was really a physical and mental rest/wellness day for me. I practiced the art of napping. This morning I walked with my friends Crystal and then had a wonderfully delicious healthy 'beat pear rocket salad' for lunch. Afterwards, I went to give blood (I'm AB+, which represents 2.5% of the total population) so I felt it was my duty to get in there and give. I was so tired afterwards though, and because the kids were at daycare I just came home and curled up in my duvet and shut'er down. I really needed it and I was happy to recognize it and also be able to allow myself to do that - with no guilt. I worked a 12 hour day yesterday and needed some recovery.
I recognized early in the morning that I was feeling a little off. Felt a little frustration rise up in me when my clothes felt just as snug as they did yesterday and two weeks ago. I kind of figure that I should notice my efforts somewhat? I had to really remind myself that it'll come, that I am doing a great job and perhaps I can improve but not to be hard on myself - it would get me no where.
Tonight I went on a well needed girlfriend date with Megan and we were having some great big salads and Megan piped up and said "I'm sooo full, I'm going to stop eating." Pretty simple statement but it really hit home to me, because so often when I'm eating (especially when it's delicious and healthy) I can't even fathom the idea of leaving food on my plate! "What a waste", I think to myself. How can you go out to a restaurant and pay for this meal and then leave it here (or box it up and it never tastes the same once you get it home.) On top of it all, because I was having a bit of a "bad day" I realized that I was (as my friend Cassandra says) "eating my emotions". Emotional eating is something that is widely recognized but SO hard to stop doing. It's such an immediate gratification. Why not eat that chocolate bar - the commercial said I deserve a break! Gimme that kit kat before I fight you. When I'm happy and want to celebrate, I eat. When I'm sad and having a mental breakdown, I eat. Then the mind-abuse starts. "Why did you eat that? I thought you were trying to lose weight? Well, sh*t, I ate it because I had a bad day, I'm sad, it made me feel better." Pfffft. Feel better my as*.
So all in all today was ok. I made it through. I know that crawling into bed won't always be the answer, but I think it was what I needed today and I'm thankful for being able to know my body and listen to it. My body and I are working on our communication skills.

Comments

  1. UnknownOctober 18, 2010 at 9:01 AM

    I am loving your blog. Believe me, you are not alone in your thoughts on food! I find myself nodding my head & agreeing with everything you are saying! Keep the awesome posts coming..you rock! xo's

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