Skip to main content

Break me off a piece of that...beat salad.

I went for a medium paced walk today but it was really a physical and mental rest/wellness day for me. I practiced the art of napping. This morning I walked with my friends Crystal and then had a wonderfully delicious healthy 'beat pear rocket salad' for lunch. Afterwards, I went to give blood (I'm AB+, which represents 2.5% of the total population) so I felt it was my duty to get in there and give. I was so tired afterwards though, and because the kids were at daycare I just came home and curled up in my duvet and shut'er down. I really needed it and I was happy to recognize it and also be able to allow myself to do that - with no guilt. I worked a 12 hour day yesterday and needed some recovery.
I recognized early in the morning that I was feeling a little off. Felt a little frustration rise up in me when my clothes felt just as snug as they did yesterday and two weeks ago. I kind of figure that I should notice my efforts somewhat? I had to really remind myself that it'll come, that I am doing a great job and perhaps I can improve but not to be hard on myself - it would get me no where.
Tonight I went on a well needed girlfriend date with Megan and we were having some great big salads and Megan piped up and said "I'm sooo full, I'm going to stop eating." Pretty simple statement but it really hit home to me, because so often when I'm eating (especially when it's delicious and healthy) I can't even fathom the idea of leaving food on my plate! "What a waste", I think to myself. How can you go out to a restaurant and pay for this meal and then leave it here (or box it up and it never tastes the same once you get it home.) On top of it all, because I was having a bit of a "bad day" I realized that I was (as my friend Cassandra says) "eating my emotions". Emotional eating is something that is widely recognized but SO hard to stop doing. It's such an immediate gratification. Why not eat that chocolate bar - the commercial said I deserve a break! Gimme that kit kat before I fight you. When I'm happy and want to celebrate, I eat. When I'm sad and having a mental breakdown, I eat. Then the mind-abuse starts. "Why did you eat that? I thought you were trying to lose weight? Well, sh*t, I ate it because I had a bad day, I'm sad, it made me feel better." Pfffft. Feel better my as*.
So all in all today was ok. I made it through. I know that crawling into bed won't always be the answer, but I think it was what I needed today and I'm thankful for being able to know my body and listen to it. My body and I are working on our communication skills.

Comments

  1. UnknownOctober 18, 2010 at 9:01 AM

    I am loving your blog. Believe me, you are not alone in your thoughts on food! I find myself nodding my head & agreeing with everything you are saying! Keep the awesome posts coming..you rock! xo's

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

You better not pout...cause you'll get cat poop.

Every year around this time, my anxiety builds and bursts and it's not the kind of climax anybody is hoping for. I always tell myself that I am not going to allow it to happen. Well this year after a lengthy chat with my exceptional friend and coach - I gave in and allowed away . What you find when you allow is completely unexpected. I assumed that when I let anxiety, anger and disappointment (insert any negative emotion) dance around in my head like sugar plums that I was welcoming it and fostering it. I have come to realize that this is a myth and holds no value whatsoever. I recognized that my anxiety about Christmas has a lot to do with me holding on. Holding on to ideals and to the past/childhood with a white knuckle grip. I don't know how to let go, and move on. I am not 5 anymore and shits happens. People grow up and apart, parents split up, Santa turns to dust and at this time of year no matter how much you saved - money is fleeting. There is this constant naggi...
Post a Comment
Read more

Why aren't you happy for me?

(First off, let me just say that I am totally guilty of this. I've done it, I am sure I still do it and I'm building an awareness around it.) Being happy for other people's successes - big and small. Better yet - Being happy for my own successes  Yep, that's what's up. I've come to realize as I make small but significant changes in my life and as I get happier, and feel good about myself I want to share this with others. So, I was seriously confused when I would get what felt like a ghost slap in the face. Ghost slap: throws you back but you have no idea where it came from or who did it or WHY. Sometimes, for whatever reason (that people might not even realize), they don't feel happy for you. They don't like this "new" you. They are used to and attached to the old you, the one who complained a lot and blamed most things on external factors. They knew how they fit in with this old you. Now you've gone and done it - you've change...
Post a Comment
Read more

What do She-Ra and my Period have in common?

Part I: I am sitting here crying for no reason. Well...let me define "no reason". There is no apparent reason but I am sure there are infinite possibilities of reasons. I was wiping away the tears with vast exasperation when I heard a voice in my head say "Come on, pull yourself together!" and suddenly I found myself saying aloud in an effort to take a stand "NO!". (As I get older I talk to myself). Why should I have to? In my almost 30 years of experience, crying always had something to tell me, if I can shut up long enough to listen. When I think about it, I'm probably PMS'ing. At first I was mad about it I thought "Oh shit here we go..." but no, now I realize I want to try something new. I want to try and honour this, maybe it's important to see the feelings for what they are and not hide behind them. I am sure that PMS can show us strong but important emotions if we can find a safe place to cradle and then release them. ...
Post a Comment
Read more