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Showing posts from October, 2012

The adventures of naked face Grace!!

I'm getting use to not wearing makeup on a day to day basis now but to go to a special event where I didn't know many people - of all women - was a total new leap outside my comfort zone. I was really nervous. To add insult to what I felt was injury, my armpits were sweating so much I'm pretty sure my shirt was soaked. I then had to realize that sweat is natural and normal and that this too was "no big deal". Wow did I feel naked, exposed and vulnerable. I had to dig sooooo deep for confidence. I was really surprised by my feelings of inferiority. No one was making me feel this way, no one was treating me like I was treating myself. I had built up these standards and it was time to tear them down. At first I wanted to tell people that I was not wearing makeup on purpose. In the very least I wanted to make up excuses for myself like "Gosh! I am just so tired!" But I wasn't tired at all so why would I tell a story that wasn't true? I pulled o

Are you in it?

The art of writing honestly, I mean really really honestly - no fluff - is one steep steep task. How can you let all your thoughts and feelings unfold bare-nakedly for all to see? How do we 'be' and also try to remember and decipher at the same time? On a full time basis, I find myself scrolling through my thoughts and emotions searching for those ones that are suitable or even borderline suitable to share. Do the thoughts flow? Can people read them as I would have said them aloud? Sharing inner thoughts with others, written or aloud, is a tall order. It's vulnerable. So many aspects, so much potential confusion and complexity all in one seemingly simple task. No, not simple at all. Sometimes when I am trying to make my thoughts makes sense, I can feel um...unauthentic. I catch myself making up the experience as I go instead of just well...experiencing it! Even when I was at yoga yesterday I caught myself writing blogs in my mind. Trying to be SO present so that I could

GRACE aka The Purple Heroine of noticing!

Loving Energy Flow Yoga was todays class choice. Perfect. First of all, a room full of OM'ing people is one of the most beautiful naturally harmonized sounds my heart has ever been graced with. Second, my intention today was to be loving, to look in the mirror and smile instead of scowl. Not just open and relax my jaw but turn it ever so slightly upward. And third, we did a lot of noticing and I had a bit of a hay day... The first place I draw my attention toward in every class is - my armpits, and to be honest they didn't smell awesome. I quickly got over it, I'm not sure if those around me did. I will just take this moment to petition for more natural body scents (instead of perfumes) and I wish it was more acceptable - but that's a different blog all together ;) The second thing I noticed was that I am really into purple right now. This may seem like a pretty apparent thing to not notice, since purple is a pretty vibrant colour - but as I peered down, in the fi

Who is that crying on their mat? Oh it's just Grace...

Today when I walked into my power yoga class I could feel something within me was off immediately because I wanted to turn and run back to my car. By that time though, I had already been greeted by the teacher filling in for Laura. I was uneasy because I am new to yoga and I feel comfortable in Laura's class right now and I didn't know if I was ready for someone else to see me awkwardly yoga-ing. I knew I had to move past this - I can't only go to Laura's classes, other teacher have a lot to offer as well.  The class was a little emptier than usual so I decided to put my mat near the front close to the mirror, that way I could peek up (or judge) at myself to see if I was in the poses correctly. At first I thought "you don't deserve to put your mat up front, you are a beginner at best" but I ignored my inner mean voice and placed my mat down anyway. I decided to dedicate my practice to being present. Simple yet necessary because I knew my mind was full an