Journey to Mee-dom

I looked at myself today (my stomach to be exact) and realized something. After I had the kids, and I had the 'post babies' weight to lose, it was the first go at it. It was a fresh try. Nothing to lose (except the weight). I went into it with mostly naivety tagged with a certain sense of optimism and a no-pressure-attitude. I was focused on my new babies, I didn't have to rush I just ate better - if it happened it happened. Once I started to see it working (in many ways) I added more to it. Started exercising and seeing better results. Then something happened. Here's where the "gap" is. I don't know what happened. I don't know what the "trigger" was, what the trauma was to cause me to slip backwards on such a steep hill I had climbed so beautifully. I lost 30 lbs from December 2008 - August 2009! Approximately 8 months of fantastic eating, new sense of self - the mother of twins and I was doing it! I could do anything. Somewhere between Aug

CROSSFIT is AWESOME! Ok now that I've gotten that out I want to just say that I went shopping and bought some nice clothes that FIT and make me feel great. We always say "I don't want to go shopping until I lose weight" but how long should we really go wearing pants that create muffin top-ville? How long should we be mean to ourselves like that? No matter what, you deserve to look nice! So I did it - I took the leap! It felt great, because I can't wait anymore for 30 lbs to drop all the while wearing outfits that people shouldn't even be buried in. Now I'm not yelling at my pants or ripping my underwear off like the hulk because I'm so mad they don't fit. It doesn't mean that I've given in, and that I'm not motivated to lose weight just because I bought some clothes that fit. It's not a reward for stuffing my face - it's just a gentle approach to a delicate situation. If I keep feeling bad about my body I seriously don't thi

I feel like I'm at a stand still. I haven't been blogging because I'm embarrassed that I have no "real" progress to report and I feel like I've let you all down. I keep trying to pin point the reason for my un-success...and I'm realizing that's stupid. Harsh word, but it is stupid. A cd that I listen to every day, by Esther Hicks ("the teachings of Abraham") describes a scenario in which Esther and her husband Jerry and using a GPS to find a location, when they realize they are going in the wrong direction. Shortly after this realization the GPS informs them to basically make a u-turn and get back on the right path. Esther says to Jerry "isn't that odd, do you think I made a wrong turn, or do you think the GPS made a mistake? How about we retrace our steps and figure out where we went wrong." To which Jerry replies "or...we could just keep going right?" It's a funny thing our desire to go back and delve into all th

Ahhhr. I've been terrible lately at writing. I am sorry. I am sorry to you and I am sorry to me because it really means I'm off track. I have been bouncing around a lot lately from different types of exercise and I thought that was a good thing. But, I haven't found I've gotten in a groove with anything in particular. I'd like to be focused on one thing and watching the progress in that area. So I am trying to decide what I like best right now, until I get into a better routine and then I can branch out. I want to look forward to my exercises, instead of feeling like they are taking away from my day. And if I really cut the crap, I need to just shit or get off the pot. I am frustrated. I know that it's making all those little decisions add up that's going to make the big picture come into place, but I am just having a hard time with those little pieces. I started with no bread, and I felt good about that. But I know it's not quite enough. I feel like I&#