Day 4
Yes, that's right I have officially made it through the first 3 days. The days everyone tells you will be the hardest. Well I guess we'll see!
I don't really know how to describe what I am feeling and so I ask that you bear with me on this, and try to understand that I am giving you my own experience in my own words and that I am not exaggerating to the best of my knowledge.
I feel extra alive. Sounds a bit cheesy or something I guess. I just feel like I am extra awake or alert to all things happening both inside and outside my body. I a feel heightened state of senses. I am feeling stronger empathy for sure and I would say much more present to what's going on in each moment. Last night I had something happen that got me a little worked up and I was able to sit with it and watch it and hold compassion for it - and I don't mean fake compassion, I mean like legit compassion. It was new, let's just go with that. Totally new.
I realized this morning that I felt very vulnerable yesterday, writing about my hypnotherapist. Yes, I have been going for hypnotherapy. She is wonderful. She takes me into a deep meditation and state of hypnosis and then we work through all my shit (my stories). I was doing this for about 4 weeks before I started this cleanse and I am certain that it's aided in the process. I have tools that I can use when I see my addiction start to come up and I am able to identify what thoughts are not serving me. Essentially my subconscious is more on my side than before - simple, or not so simply put!
What's been most interesting about hypnosis, is the awareness of the language we use with children - with all children (that includes what was said to YOU, us, as children that we still repeat to ourselves). We control their environment so much. We say "don't" A LOT to kids and BE CAREFUL (which is essentially be FEARFUL). It's kind of the opposite of teaching them to trust themselves and the process of life in general. You may not agree, but mull it over and of course I am not an expert on this or on parenting so that's all I will really say right now. I am listening to the language that was spoken to me that became my recordings - the shit I say to myself in my head like clockwork, the self management and the "don'ts", and now I am watching the language I use with Lilly and Oliver.
Overall I feel less "puffy" and yes some things are starting to fit a little easier. I say easier instead of better because I just find putting on clothes isn't such a drag, things feel easier to put on.
I am not focusing so much on the weight loss aspect of this, I don't think that's a sustainable approach to keeping myself motivated. I have thought that in the past and eventually it just waivers and I am like fuck it, Imma eat a whole bag of chips.
What came up last night was a little voice trying to convince me that maybe this cleanse wasn't a good idea. Maybe it bad for me, maybe I am actually doing more harm than good. It was so hard not to listen to it! Things like "your stomach will shrink!!!"...what does that even mean? Why is that bad for my stomach to unstretch itself from all the stretching?! My plan isn't to do this cleanse and then eat a pizza when I am finished. The plan is to clean out my gut, get it working again, feed my body micronutrients that it so desperately needs to feel nourished, get my immune system back on track and yeah if the 30 extra lbs I have put on comes off because of it - great, that will be wonderful for my heart and my overall level of pain in my joints and body as a whole - and then continue to feed my body for LIFE when it's over.
Yes, that's right I have officially made it through the first 3 days. The days everyone tells you will be the hardest. Well I guess we'll see!
I don't really know how to describe what I am feeling and so I ask that you bear with me on this, and try to understand that I am giving you my own experience in my own words and that I am not exaggerating to the best of my knowledge.
I feel extra alive. Sounds a bit cheesy or something I guess. I just feel like I am extra awake or alert to all things happening both inside and outside my body. I a feel heightened state of senses. I am feeling stronger empathy for sure and I would say much more present to what's going on in each moment. Last night I had something happen that got me a little worked up and I was able to sit with it and watch it and hold compassion for it - and I don't mean fake compassion, I mean like legit compassion. It was new, let's just go with that. Totally new.
I realized this morning that I felt very vulnerable yesterday, writing about my hypnotherapist. Yes, I have been going for hypnotherapy. She is wonderful. She takes me into a deep meditation and state of hypnosis and then we work through all my shit (my stories). I was doing this for about 4 weeks before I started this cleanse and I am certain that it's aided in the process. I have tools that I can use when I see my addiction start to come up and I am able to identify what thoughts are not serving me. Essentially my subconscious is more on my side than before - simple, or not so simply put!
What's been most interesting about hypnosis, is the awareness of the language we use with children - with all children (that includes what was said to YOU, us, as children that we still repeat to ourselves). We control their environment so much. We say "don't" A LOT to kids and BE CAREFUL (which is essentially be FEARFUL). It's kind of the opposite of teaching them to trust themselves and the process of life in general. You may not agree, but mull it over and of course I am not an expert on this or on parenting so that's all I will really say right now. I am listening to the language that was spoken to me that became my recordings - the shit I say to myself in my head like clockwork, the self management and the "don'ts", and now I am watching the language I use with Lilly and Oliver.
Overall I feel less "puffy" and yes some things are starting to fit a little easier. I say easier instead of better because I just find putting on clothes isn't such a drag, things feel easier to put on.
I am not focusing so much on the weight loss aspect of this, I don't think that's a sustainable approach to keeping myself motivated. I have thought that in the past and eventually it just waivers and I am like fuck it, Imma eat a whole bag of chips.
What came up last night was a little voice trying to convince me that maybe this cleanse wasn't a good idea. Maybe it bad for me, maybe I am actually doing more harm than good. It was so hard not to listen to it! Things like "your stomach will shrink!!!"...what does that even mean? Why is that bad for my stomach to unstretch itself from all the stretching?! My plan isn't to do this cleanse and then eat a pizza when I am finished. The plan is to clean out my gut, get it working again, feed my body micronutrients that it so desperately needs to feel nourished, get my immune system back on track and yeah if the 30 extra lbs I have put on comes off because of it - great, that will be wonderful for my heart and my overall level of pain in my joints and body as a whole - and then continue to feed my body for LIFE when it's over.
P.S. For those of you who have started a cleanse as well let me be the first to say - night time is definitely the hardest, but I have been drinking tea and water and even having an apple if I need to and going to bed early.
AND a friend told me that she saw a new little twinkle in my eye this morning :)
With Love and Gratitude,
Grace
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