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day 2

So if you are just joining me - I am on day 2 of my juice cleanse. Minor editing is being done so don't judge grammatical or spelling errors.

Day 1 continued: Last night at around 9 pm I somehow convinced Danny to watch "Hungry For Change" with me. It was HEAVY> Like whoa. I HIGHLY recommend watching this if you want to make a change in your life and you are finding it difficult. I also recommend it if you have a partner who doesn't really feel motivated to make change. (Danny's mind was blown, and he told me to order THE BEST juicer I could find first thing in the morning.)
It pretty much blows the lid off the food industry (or every industry for that matter) breaking down WHY YOU EAT WHAT YOU EAT, or why you want to and how they manufacture food to stay on the shelves a long time to make more profit - not for health. Your health is not on the list of priorities, in fact your lack of health IS on that list...but that's a topic perhaps for another day! In short you aren't even making the decisions, the addictions to the foods (mainly sugar) is. It's not because you are weak, it's not because you "love" it, it's not because you "deserve" it - that's just what they have been telling lying to you.
The one thing that rang a very loud bell inside my brain was when one of the speakers in the doc says "instead of thinking that you CAN'T eat that - change the thought to that you CAN BUT YOU CHOOSE NOT TO". For me, anytime I say I can't eat something I want it more - apparently this is true for everyone, it's how our brains work.
After watching that documentary I have a completely different perspective on why I am doing this cleanse, and the reasons I am choosing to do this cleanse, and my overall achievement feels much more probable.
I know you have a long list of movies and documentaries and that documentaries make your brain hurt and can be somewhat uncomfortable because then you get mad about how things are - but seriously, do this for yourself. I am here for you if you want to talk after - for realz.

Day 2 morning
8am Best.Poop.Ever
It was seemingly easy to wake up, and on my own without the alarm nagging but that doesn't mean I jumped out of bed. I watched the anxiety creep in but this time it felt a little different. I noticed that underneath the surface the anxiety was really perhaps excitement? I know, weird right? I shit you not. My mind started scanning around thinking about what was going to happen today. It bounced back and forth thinking of ideas and things to say and do.
So let me break this down a bit. I think when I wake up, my natural reaction is to be excited but because I am so tired and so depressed that excitement gets cut off at the pass and gets flipped around to feel like anxiety. There are all these things I want to do - but I can't even want to want to do them because I am in such a slump. I am so crusty and tired that I can barely peel back the layers. My thoughts bubble up and overwhelm me because I can't make sense of them sometimes. I am foggy and unclear.
I realize that this is a big realization for day 2 but it's real! I couldn't make this shit up.

I felt less stress overall this morning, more clear headed and vibrant.
The kids and I had great conversation on the way to school. Lots of story telling and laughing. Lilly told me how much she loves living in Terrace and I actually heard her, like really heard her - not the "uh huh, oh ya honey" bullshit that automatically comes out of my mouth in the morning.
Instead of my usual "get the fuck out of my way, we're going to be late" attitude - I mean what? I am never like that!... I noticed the snowy mountains peeking out between the clouds. Stunning.

So here is what I am noticing so far (yes, on the morning of day 2) - there are all these things I want to do and all these feelings I want to feel but I can't seem to do them when my body is malfunctioning. It's as simple as that.
Clean the house - ya right! I'm too effing tired
Do yoga - my body hurts too much today!
Make a meal - so.much.effort!
Organize my life - pffft.
Go for a run/walk - doesn't even make it in to the thought bank anymore.

I think the food has to come first.


(Keep in mind I am not wearing make-up in any of my pictures, and I am keeping my chin level, and trying to take the pictures at the same angle each time)

With Love & Gratitude,
Grace

Comments

  1. So exciting and inspiring, I am definitely going to add Hungry for Change to my list, Thanks!

    ReplyDelete

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