Skip to main content

Help! I've fallen and I can't get up.

Ahhhr. I've been terrible lately at writing. I am sorry. I am sorry to you and I am sorry to me because it really means I'm off track.
I have been bouncing around a lot lately from different types of exercise and I thought that was a good thing. But, I haven't found I've gotten in a groove with anything in particular. I'd like to be focused on one thing and watching the progress in that area. So I am trying to decide what I like best right now, until I get into a better routine and then I can branch out. I want to look forward to my exercises, instead of feeling like they are taking away from my day. And if I really cut the crap, I need to just shit or get off the pot.
I am frustrated. I know that it's making all those little decisions add up that's going to make the big picture come into place, but I am just having a hard time with those little pieces. I started with no bread, and I felt good about that. But I know it's not quite enough. I feel like I've figured out all the emotional reasons I have gained weight, and also that I put myself last sometimes or a lot of the time, and that I don't always feel deserving but all this information has paralyzed me. I don't know what to do and so I stopped, dead in my tracks.
I am not at the point of kicking my own ass, and I need some help. It's grey, it's winter, I am have been busy at work and with raising my kids and I just can't seem to translate my hatred for fat pants into DOING SOMETHING about it. I was, I was doing great and then I got sick, and I fell right off and now it's like I can't get over it.
How can I want something so bad, and not be doing anything about it. It's like I feel like I've been trying so hard - in my head, that I'm exhausted from thinking it about it?
For those of you who have been there, or here - where I am right now - and done something about it, I want you to share with me some things that helped you. I need some advice.
Thanks.

Comments

  1. CarlyDecember 3, 2010 at 7:40 AM

    Yesterdays great experience:
    Lately I've been going to Oranj, at least twice a week, plus hot yoga on Mondays. I go to the gym and I feel SO GOOD. But more often than not it's a struggle to just go. I wake up in the morning and say "Yes, Im going to killer abs and ass, then yoga tonight!"... but for some reason, by 2:30, I'm dreading it. I'm tired. I'm over worked, I'm feeling overwhelmed with the thought of fitting the gym in with the other responsibilities for the evening..... I'm sure you know the feeling to the millionth degree! So yesterday, instead of deciding to back out when the 2:30 blahs came around, I told 3 friends I would be there, and that I hoped they would join me. Then there was no turning back, I had committed. And I'm so glad I did! It's like you said in one of your past posts; just put the gym clothes on, then put your shoes on. baby steps out the door, that's all you need because when the the heart rate starts going and the blood starts flowing, you'll find what you were looking for. :)

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

How quick are you gonna get up?

So I'm running tonight - and it's going fairly well until I look down at my shadow and it resembles a bouncing cadillac with a biiiiiiiig trunk. Ba-ba-ba-boing goes my cadill-ass. At first I thought I was mistaken, that isn't my shadow...or at least it's exaggerating the gravity of the situation here. Basically, I had a decision to make, feel sorry for my big trunk or get motivated. Every time I wanted to stop and walk, I just checked in with my shadow and it was on like donkey kong (do people still say that?). Thank goodness I had my headphones on, because in between songs all I could hear was some awful panting that sounding like an animal being sacrificed. I pretended it wasn't me and kept rhythmically running to some old Mariah Carey songs. So, I realized thinking of all the things I am thankful for would help me keep my mind off of the large wall I was about to hit, metaphorically speaking. At first I was thankful for my feet, my shoes that are so comfy, runni
8 comments
Read more

Forgive-mess...

This blog has brought up a lot of emotion for me and I had to take some time to work through it. During a very intense conversation with Danny, I came to realize that because I have always put other people first, I put myself last and I eat to recover. I eat because it is the only thing (I think) that I can control completely. By control I mean, whenever I want it, it's there. Whatever I want I can have. I can make bad decisions and beat myself up over it as much as I want. I have been abusing myself with food. This is a really hard realization to come to and once I realized it I almost went further into weight debt. I sunk a little deeper, just enough to scare myself. I saw some pictures of myself from a birthday party and didn't even recognize myself. I know that people say this all the time just before they start making change and I can see why now. I have been using it to be hurtful to myself. Mask what's really going on, and almost wear a disguise. Another way to look
6 comments
Read more

The adventures of naked face Grace!!

I'm getting use to not wearing makeup on a day to day basis now but to go to a special event where I didn't know many people - of all women - was a total new leap outside my comfort zone. I was really nervous. To add insult to what I felt was injury, my armpits were sweating so much I'm pretty sure my shirt was soaked. I then had to realize that sweat is natural and normal and that this too was "no big deal". Wow did I feel naked, exposed and vulnerable. I had to dig sooooo deep for confidence. I was really surprised by my feelings of inferiority. No one was making me feel this way, no one was treating me like I was treating myself. I had built up these standards and it was time to tear them down. At first I wanted to tell people that I was not wearing makeup on purpose. In the very least I wanted to make up excuses for myself like "Gosh! I am just so tired!" But I wasn't tired at all so why would I tell a story that wasn't true? I pulled o
4 comments
Read more