Skip to main content

Why is Mommy walking like that?

Today is going to have to be a stretching/pilates/bathtub day. My kids were looking at me sideways with curiousty as hobled down the stairs to go to work this morning, moaning and drooling with pain. I may have overdone it, but I think some of you will agree that there ain't nothin' better than some good ol' exercise pain! Although that steep hill didn't even kiss me let alone hold my hand as it took advantage of me all the way up to the top (you know I wanted to write something way dirtier there but I'll keep it 'PG').
I want to reflect a little more on my run yesterday because a lot of different emotions and ideas came up for me. Funny, how when the going gets tough my mind gets going. I mean gooooing. I can't shut it off! When I start feeling myself slowing down I start a bit of a choo-choo train chant. It started out as "I can do this, I can do this, I can do this" but it wasn't doing anything for me. I think we know that there is a huge difference in encouragement effectiveness between clapping for yourself and having someone else clap for you. So I changed "I" to "You" so it was external now. "You can do this, You can do this" and found myself saying back to...myself, "Yes I can, Yes I can, yes I can!" In a strange way it registered to my will power as someone else urging me on. That (amazingly) stemmed into all kinds of "You can do this!" type thoughts, parenting, being a better partner and entrepreneur.
Running allows me do some much needed 'thought weeding'. Oh I like that thought! Or no, I don't much like that thought. It's also forced quiet time for me, which is as you know is hard for this Chatty-Kathy (ya ya that's an understatement)!
I noticed on the drive to work this morning when I passed someone running I wanted to throw my fist out the window and yell "RUNNERS UNITE!". Yesterday, I passed a man running on the other side of the road. Instead of the quaint smile you would perhaps give another person you walk past on the road there was a big proud united wave exchanged, like we were part of the same powerful team of people who forced themselves out the door to a powerful half and half runing mix of torture and energy high. Honestly, I almost reached out as we passed and mid-high-fived him like you do in the team line-up after a basketball game in grade school. Except there was no winner or loser here, just two people running for the greater good of health and sanity. To be continued...




My body was totally exhausted but my mind carried me home. Everything is a mind game.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

How quick are you gonna get up?

So I'm running tonight - and it's going fairly well until I look down at my shadow and it resembles a bouncing cadillac with a biiiiiiiig trunk. Ba-ba-ba-boing goes my cadill-ass. At first I thought I was mistaken, that isn't my shadow...or at least it's exaggerating the gravity of the situation here. Basically, I had a decision to make, feel sorry for my big trunk or get motivated. Every time I wanted to stop and walk, I just checked in with my shadow and it was on like donkey kong (do people still say that?). Thank goodness I had my headphones on, because in between songs all I could hear was some awful panting that sounding like an animal being sacrificed. I pretended it wasn't me and kept rhythmically running to some old Mariah Carey songs. So, I realized thinking of all the things I am thankful for would help me keep my mind off of the large wall I was about to hit, metaphorically speaking. At first I was thankful for my feet, my shoes that are so comfy, runni...

Forgive-mess...

This blog has brought up a lot of emotion for me and I had to take some time to work through it. During a very intense conversation with Danny, I came to realize that because I have always put other people first, I put myself last and I eat to recover. I eat because it is the only thing (I think) that I can control completely. By control I mean, whenever I want it, it's there. Whatever I want I can have. I can make bad decisions and beat myself up over it as much as I want. I have been abusing myself with food. This is a really hard realization to come to and once I realized it I almost went further into weight debt. I sunk a little deeper, just enough to scare myself. I saw some pictures of myself from a birthday party and didn't even recognize myself. I know that people say this all the time just before they start making change and I can see why now. I have been using it to be hurtful to myself. Mask what's really going on, and almost wear a disguise. Another way to look...

The adventures of naked face Grace!!

I'm getting use to not wearing makeup on a day to day basis now but to go to a special event where I didn't know many people - of all women - was a total new leap outside my comfort zone. I was really nervous. To add insult to what I felt was injury, my armpits were sweating so much I'm pretty sure my shirt was soaked. I then had to realize that sweat is natural and normal and that this too was "no big deal". Wow did I feel naked, exposed and vulnerable. I had to dig sooooo deep for confidence. I was really surprised by my feelings of inferiority. No one was making me feel this way, no one was treating me like I was treating myself. I had built up these standards and it was time to tear them down. At first I wanted to tell people that I was not wearing makeup on purpose. In the very least I wanted to make up excuses for myself like "Gosh! I am just so tired!" But I wasn't tired at all so why would I tell a story that wasn't true? I pulled o...