Boobies.

Today's topic is body image. I would like to start specifically with boobs (breasts, boobies, guns, tittays, rack, "bags of sand"). I saw a few women walking today with those sexy sporty tank tops. You know, the tight ones that if worn properly can stop traffic. In my case, if worn right now, those sexy cris-cross straps on my back could possibly be mistaken for a pan of hot cross buns (or in the words of Chris Rock "you got the pump fat comin' out the pump" but on my back).

Which brings me to my topic at hand - body image and boobs. I have one of those nice little tankie-tops and it stares me down every time I go in for the big ol' sports bra that will be covered by a t-shirt of Danny's. I want to wear it sooo badly, but I don't really like stuffing my boobs into it...it reminds me of attempting to get a regular size fitted sheet over a double stack pillow top mattress. You know that sh*t doesn't fit just by looking at it.

Boobs are a bit of a "hot topic" with me. I don't think my big boobs are a big secret. In fact, I'm pretty sure "Grace Edison" and "you know, BIG boobs" have been put into the same sentence more than a few times. I have had a breast reduction and then by the magnificent miracle of growing babies and breast feeding, they came back, with a vengeance. Of course weight gain and boob size increases go hand in hand for me. My friend Ashley likes to say that if I was a super hero it would be my super power - growing boobs. Now unfortunately for me, it's not a good sign. When the boob size goes up - the scale isn't displaying anything pretty. You know what the worst part is? Lazenza started making my size and then stopped because they said no one was buying 34E's. Which basically said to me that they think my body was not within the normal standards and I didn't deserve to wear a bra that fits properly. I still have to write them a letter...

So of course this is related to my running and exercising because it involves bouncing and you know that isn't comfortable. No, that's not a strobe light blinding you while you drive past me, it's just me running at night with my high viz-vest on. I don't think there's anyway for me to get away from having big boobs, I've tried and I am much more accepting of them now then when I was 22 and felt that they took over I big part of my identity. Men were talking at them and women were giving them the stink eye. With exercise my whole body will shrink and even then my boobs are likely to still be predominant park of my body, and I'm ok with that, we're friends.

I think it's very important to love yourself, body included. However, I don't think I should use the excuse that I am accepting my body "the way it is" to not try to improve my health. Nor do I think that wanting to wear a nice well fitted tank top and looking good is vain. I do love my body, very much. My body grew my babies to 39 weeks with no bed rest, my legs work well, my heart is great... but I do accept full responsibility for the lack of exercise and poor eating habits over the last 3-4 years that has led to 40 extra unwanted pounds. That isn't me harshing on myself, that's just being honest and taking the steps to change. My goal is to improve and take care of the great body that I already have, even if there are some things I don't particularly like.