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Master cleanse day 1.

Day 1 of Master Cleanse.
Side note: It's not really congruent with my journey to wee-dom and I want to change the name of this blog. More on that later (another day).
Disclaimer: Most of this may or may not make any sense. Thank you for fumbling through it and don't let this taint your opinion of my other blogs, notes or any other written input. I love to write and I love to share so I hope this one doesn't change your enjoyment for the things I have written in the past.
I know some of you are thinking "that's stupid" and that's ok. I need a break and here's why.

The breakdown:
The reason I say this is not congruent with my journey to wee-dom is that I'm not doing the cleanse for weight loss. My main reason is to gain perspective on food. I feel like I eat when I am anything. In other words - if I am sad, I am anxious, I am angry, board, mad, disappointed...happy etc. Today, I think I thought about food 10 different times before I started to become aware of the fact that I wasn't able to "plan" what to eat. It's strange how much my days revolve around when I will eat next and how much vested brain space goes to food. When I get in the car I think "could I stop and get some food?". When I get home I think "what can we make to eat?". I know these seem like simple, normal thoughts but what if I could cut these strings and make space for other thoughts? As an example, instead of eating I sat and showed Megan how to use a loom today. I felt useful instead of just full.

I want to look to food for nourishment, for health and longevity. For a clear, focused and active mind. Right now I am not eating for sustainability, I am eating for fun, self punishment and sometimes even to rebel...against who? Myself I suppose.
Inside thought: I feel drunk-ish. Writing is really hard right now.

I was doing really well up until 8pm when a little headache started, followed by being really tired and a little hungry. I just got some more juice because someone said in their video blog that you should listen to your body and I thought that was what my body was saying.
In general I feel poopy with a hint of weird. I watched a few video blogs today that I hoped would describe what I would feel like. It's human nature to want to feel prepared is it not?
How can one describe a feeling though really? We all interpret discomfort and pain differently. Best word I can think of is wonky? This is another reason I wanted to do this, kinda of like walking over hot coals, I wonder how tough my mind really is. This is also the year of doing the things I have told myself I cannot do. So far I have been crafty, done paintings, learned to knit on a loom and now I challenge myself to solely drink a drink that is far from delicious for 10 days.
I think I should go to bed. I thought I would be able to describe this a little better but my brain feels like it's on sleep mode with me still being awake.
Everything is super bright.
I am committed to doing this for 10 days at least. Apparently it gets easier. Last time I did it - (or tried) I was in university and I just remember being super grossed out and quitting. Not this time! Think good thoughts, I don't write to accumulate negativity.

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