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Stop Shaming Me: The Holidays, Food and Depression

Oh hi, hello there.

With the holidays coming up I thought maybe this would be a good rant post for those of you with specific dietary requirements, restrictions and just overall needs. I know I have some anxiety coming up - so let's address it right here right now.

I know what it's like to be that "guy" who can't eat anything at parties.

A couple months ago I finally 100% established that my depression is an inflammatory response. Which means (in a nutshell) that the affects of inflammation in my body cause a change in the chemistry of my brain (and vagus nerve) leading to fatigue, and deep states of depression.

I hit a very scary low back in early September where I started having thoughts that almost lead me to check myself into the hospital. Thoughts that felt normal to me (because they've been there so long) and yet, seemed to be much too serious to be something I was comfortable with. I feared for my own safety - from my own self. How messed up is that?

I contacted a close friend who experiences deep levels of depression also, only to find out that for more than a year she'd been practicing conscious eating habits and had beaten her depression - no signs of it for miles around.
I started to delve a little deeper into this "inflammation" information and found that it made a lot of sense. (I encourage you to find out more about how inflammation can be wreaking havoc on your body as well.)

Not only am I not severely fatigued and depressed anymore, I have also (as a bonus) lost 20 lbs as of yesterday. AND I have very little if any pain in my body and my brain fog has cleared. I am less irritable too!

So long story short: I gave up wheat, dairy, sugar, coffee and alcohol! Sticking to mostly whole foods, juicing veggies and fruit, making my own treats and delicious meals.
I was ready. Change needed to happen.

Now I'm not telling you this to be like - OH LOOK WHAT I CAN DO. No. It was hard, at first, but the reward is 10 million fold for me, I got my life back.

So this (above) is all just to give context to what I'm about to say. I'm going to ask you a favour.
Please do not shame, make fun of or give a hard time to people who are trying to better their health. Even if it makes you feel uncomfortable in some way - they deeply need your support in a world with so much temptation and negative encouragement.

From my experience....

They do not:

  • think they are better than you
  • need you to also change
  • look down upon you if you cannot
  • look down on you AT ALL
  • They are not making it up to look cool either (It's really quite hard to avoid sugar, because it's in everything!)


They might:

  • Try to convince you to do the same because they feel so damn good
  • Try to feed you some of their weird food
  • Talk about how good they feel because they can't believe how good they feel and they thought it was impossible
  • Bring up "gluten" as evil, from time to time
  • Call sugar a "drug"...because it is.
  • Even say "gluten" too much.
  • Make suggestions to you because they love you


The thing is guys, that from my experience people are not avoiding these things because it's "cool" or "hip" or the "in thing to do" or they want to be a royal pain in the ass - or because they like weird grainy gravy. They are doing it because they are sick and tired - literally. They have pain, inflammation, headaches/migraines, depression, anxiety, bloating/tummy pain, bad poops, bad breath, acne, losing their hair...losing their damn minds!!
It has NOTHING to do with you. This I can promise.

So, I request that if you love me, (or if someone you love is going through a major lifestyle change)...you don't try to get me to eat crap I can't tolerate. That you don't look at me with one eyebrow raised. That you don't describe things you are going to eat in great detail to make me feel like I'm missing out. That you respect my choice to eat what feels good to me.

IMPORTANT and vulnerable NOTE: Suicidal thoughts (which are a common and major part of my depression) are fucking serious business, and they are not welcome here anymore and I hope you can see how that would have a positive affect on my life, my children's lives and all those who are close contact with me or even just if you just like my facebook rants. I like living now, it's much easier for me to want to be here.
Special Note: I will add that all thoughts of "not wanting to be here anymore" have been completely GONE for 3 months now. Not a trace, not a one. This is 100% because of my dietary changes. You can google it if you are having doubts.

This Christmas it's not cool for me to avoid these foods listed above - it's vital to my mental health and well being.
I appreciate your love and support and for taking me seriously. I promise not to bombard you (unless you want to be) with any information on food...or yoga...or Ayurveda - and you have the full right to say "no thank you", hide me from your newsfeed...whatever. I love and respect your choice, our differences and boundaries.


I will add that if you this resonates with you as something you need/want to do - but you don't know how - then ask for support. I certainly will be here for you and I'm most happy to help people feel better in a world that doesn't make it easy. I have lots of resources and information.

Lastly - know that - Sugar, wheat and dairy are in almost everything - that's packaged. So it will be hard to avoid at first. There is a grieving process for sure. For me, I started just by noticing how I felt after I would eat things and determined if it was "worth" the initial taste, or high I was getting. Coffee for example makes me super wound up, and then really stresses my adrenals and makes me anxious...and then "ragey" or "stabby". So I had to kick it - end of story there.

Saying things like "I don't trust people who don't______(drink coffee/alcohol)" isn't really that funny. It's kind of like micro-bullying a little bit. I ask you with love and compassion to please be aware of the words you choose and the judgement behind them. I certainly am a trustworthy person who doesn't drink coffee and it's for the safety of myself and those around me.

Also I saw a post floating around about "Sarah" not eating gluten at thanksgiving - and it was like "don't be Sarah". I realize that this seems funny - I get it, I love funny - but this says to me as someone who can't or won't eat gluten that my choices are burdening others and or making people not want to hang out with me or eat with me because it puts them out. It makes me self-conscious of what I say to people in fear of being judged. I'm just trying to feel fucking awesome - that's all. If you feel super awesome and energetic and have no physical ailments and can eat gluten or whatever you want - great! I'm happy for you. I hope you can be happy for me too.

For me, I can't love something that makes me feel so horrible, hate myself and the world around me anymore.
So gluten-dairy-sugar-alcohol-coffee...we are done! Nothing in the world could ever make me love you again. I know your dirty secrets and you don't taste good enough to risk my life anymore.

With Love and Gratitude,
Happy Holidays ya'll!
Grace out!










Comments

  1. Wow, brought me to tears. It all is making sense. Thank you for sharing.

    ReplyDelete

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