If the vagina ain't happy ain't nobody happy.
Yeah that’s what I said...in a sing song voice - kinda like Bobby McFarrin when he sang “Don’t worry be Happy”, which I sing to my vagina - No, no I don't.
I wrote at the end of my post 'What She-Ra and My Period Have in Common' that it was to be continued, so here it goes....
Yeah that’s what I said...in a sing song voice - kinda like Bobby McFarrin when he sang “Don’t worry be Happy”, which I sing to my vagina - No, no I don't.
I wrote at the end of my post 'What She-Ra and My Period Have in Common' that it was to be continued, so here it goes....
I am sure you are not shocked by much that I write/say at this point but I have been thinking a lot lately about sharing my 'happy vagina monologues'. I think vaginas are the neatest and I have mad love for such a miraculous body part so I've been compiling a list of all the elements of a happy creative crevasse
I have come to realize that we don’t typically (and of course there is exception) know how to make conscious decisions to take care of our Yoni’s.
Warning: This post may take you a while to read. There are a few links that I highly recommend, and hope you will share and spread the word on. That being said, I know that you might enjoy this but may feel weird about sharing it on your fb wall. I understand, but if you are able to think about who it might help and affect I would love to spread this message far and wide.
I feel that this is important in reclaiming our happiness as woman - to understand all the noble titles gives a really nice well rounded history of how honoured women once were.
I have come to realize that we don’t typically (and of course there is exception) know how to make conscious decisions to take care of our Yoni’s.
Warning: This post may take you a while to read. There are a few links that I highly recommend, and hope you will share and spread the word on. That being said, I know that you might enjoy this but may feel weird about sharing it on your fb wall. I understand, but if you are able to think about who it might help and affect I would love to spread this message far and wide.
What we need to do before we explore this:
Before we delve into this, I would like to start out this post by breaking down a brief history of some of the definitions and origins of the terms for women/vaginas that have, over time, been aggressively ‘snatched’ (see what I did there?).I feel that this is important in reclaiming our happiness as woman - to understand all the noble titles gives a really nice well rounded history of how honoured women once were.
Cunt: the word is derived from the name for one of the Great Oriental Goddesses: Cunti or Kunda, the "Yoni of the Universe." It was a word that represented beauty, power and the amazing ability of the female body to bring new life into the world. So when an abuser calls a woman a "cunt" he is actually calling her a "queen who invented writing and numerals." Girls and women can thus reclaim the words in our language that have been used as weapons against us in emotionally explosive situations. * There is an awesome book called "Cunt: A Declaration of Independence" by Inga Muscio
PLEASE WATCH THIS VIDEO because it's AWESOME, Laci Green is one smart human.
http://freethoughtnation.com/contributing-writers/64-brenton-eccles/295-reclaiming-the-c-word.html
Yoni: means "source or origin of life." The ancient Vedas contain the word yoniin various contexts. The meaning of the word expanded, and got a secondary meaning "Divine Passage." A child was considered to be born from a "yoni of stars" - constellations that prevailed during the child birth.
Whore: houri, Persian, which means a gorgeous semi-divine female that awaits men in the 7th Heaven) http://www.vdaysouthbay.org/originsofcunt.htm
Bitch: Insulting a woman by calling her a female dog pre-dates the existence of the word bitch itself. The English language historian Geoffrey Hughes suggests the connection came about because of the Greek goddess of the hunt, Artemis (Diana in the Roman pantheon) who was often portrayed with a pack of hunting dogs and sometimes transformed into an animal herself. In Ancient Greece and Rome the comparison was a sexist slur equating women to dogs in heat, sexually depraved beasts who grovel and beg for men1.http://clarebayley.com/2011/06/bitch-a-history/
Hag/Crone, and witch: once were positive words for old women. Crone comes from crown, indicating wisdom emanating from the head; hag comes from hagio meaning holy; and witch comes from wit meaning wise. Crones, hags, and witches frequently were leaders, midwives and healers in their communities. The meanings of these three words, however, were distorted and eventually reversed during the 300 years of the Inquisition when the male-dominated church wanted to eliminate women holding positions of power. Women identified as witches, who were often older women, i.e. crones and hags, were tortured and burned, and the words witch, crone, and hag took on the negative connotations that continue in our language. The Crone Movement, however, is re-claiming the positive meanings of these words.http://www.cronescounsel.org/The_Ancient_Crone
Vagina: a sheath for a sword (um whaaaat, I don't friggen think so)
Uterus: Hysteria (you ever wonder why it's called a hysterectomy?)
PLEASE WATCH THIS VIDEO because it's AWESOME, Laci Green is one smart human.
http://freethoughtnation.com/contributing-writers/64-brenton-eccles/295-reclaiming-the-c-word.html
Yoni: means "source or origin of life." The ancient Vedas contain the word yoniin various contexts. The meaning of the word expanded, and got a secondary meaning "Divine Passage." A child was considered to be born from a "yoni of stars" - constellations that prevailed during the child birth.
Whore: houri, Persian, which means a gorgeous semi-divine female that awaits men in the 7th Heaven) http://www.vdaysouthbay.org/originsofcunt.htm
Bitch: Insulting a woman by calling her a female dog pre-dates the existence of the word bitch itself. The English language historian Geoffrey Hughes suggests the connection came about because of the Greek goddess of the hunt, Artemis (Diana in the Roman pantheon) who was often portrayed with a pack of hunting dogs and sometimes transformed into an animal herself. In Ancient Greece and Rome the comparison was a sexist slur equating women to dogs in heat, sexually depraved beasts who grovel and beg for men1.http://clarebayley.com/2011/06/bitch-a-history/
Hag/Crone, and witch: once were positive words for old women. Crone comes from crown, indicating wisdom emanating from the head; hag comes from hagio meaning holy; and witch comes from wit meaning wise. Crones, hags, and witches frequently were leaders, midwives and healers in their communities. The meanings of these three words, however, were distorted and eventually reversed during the 300 years of the Inquisition when the male-dominated church wanted to eliminate women holding positions of power. Women identified as witches, who were often older women, i.e. crones and hags, were tortured and burned, and the words witch, crone, and hag took on the negative connotations that continue in our language. The Crone Movement, however, is re-claiming the positive meanings of these words.http://www.cronescounsel.org/The_Ancient_Crone
Vagina: a sheath for a sword (um whaaaat, I don't friggen think so)
Uterus: Hysteria (you ever wonder why it's called a hysterectomy?)
Moving on...
Ok, now that that is out of the way. Well hang on one second…it’s not totally out of the way. I am not making any specific suggestion here on how to use these words, however, what I surely am stating is that we need look a little deeper beneath the surface of what we are taught and therefore lead to believe. I could get into why and how and when these names were shanghai’d but that’s a whole other post. I just want to really point out how sacred and special our lady bits are – and that they were once revered. As long as you have a close and healthy relationship with your femininity** that’s what is most important. Often times we have been made to feel like we have this shadowy curse stalking us around every month when really if we were taught to honour ourselves and our ability to create/give life (if we so choose) it would be a different experience all together as opposed to the general concensus that it’s “dirty” “disgusting” or unfortunate. It’s none of these things and I’m here to perhaps change your mind a bit if you will permit it.
What the hell is a "happy vagina"?
When I say “happy vagina” I recognize that is really a broad statement. By my definition, Happy vagina’s are vagina’s that know what they want and feel a sense of integrity, calmness and overall comfort. So much that we go through emotionally is held in our wombs. I have been a long time reader of Louise L. Hay “You Can Heal Your Life” and I feel that now I can see clearly when I get sick or am struggling with pain in the body that there is always an emotional reason/connection. The vagina is no different, and in fact even more susceptible to our negative self-perception as woman.Break it down
So let’s start with an easy one and talk comfort.Comfort is the absence of discomfort right? I like definitions so here we go: Comfort is a state of physical EASE, and FREEDOM from pain or CONSTRAINT. So any kind of infection or disagreeable situation down below would be classed under ‘Unhappy Yoni’. The situation between our legs doesn’t just have to do with our emotions (or attachment to our feminine selves) but also too relies on what we eat and how we ‘treat’ our special parts. You don’t have to be causing direct pain to mistreat your lovely lips, it can be simply the disassociation or neglect of special treatment.
From frequent conversations with women I have come to realize that yeast infections are quite common and a lot of women deal with a light or chronic form of them for a good chunk of their lives. It’s common yet still embarrassing, I wish it wasn’t because it's just a sign of your bacteria levels being off not anything gross. One of the shitty parts can be that a lot of our doctors are male. We don't always feel comfortable asking or speaking up for our labiarynths.
Story break: Once I ended up in out patients (or emergency as they say out here in BC) with cranky crotch (I could have made that so much more vulgar but I will refrain) and the doctor on call happened to be a man who sat next to us in church. As luck would have it, the night I showed up was a Saturday…so guess what - No seriously, guess…I will give you a second. YEP that’s right he was there sitting in the pew the very next morning. Yay, so awesome.
So where was I – oh yes being embarrassed. So we don’t talk about it much, even with our girlfriends (well I do but it’s me, nothing is taboo) and it's largely misunderstood. I once had an adult chaperone (who was female) tell me, while we were away on a high school basketball trip and I started having an issue, to just "go wash". WTF?! Wash? It wasn't dirty, it was in fact probably the soap disrupting the delicate ph of my passion flower that got me into that state to begin with! Wowzers, devastating. I wanted to die. I felt dirty and disgusting.
SOAP! BUBBLE BATH, FRAGRANCE, SUGAR, BAD UNDIES, *PERIODS, MEN WITH YEASTIES, PAST TRAUMA make the pocket goddess sad.
*Disgruntled periods that is
Scents & Sugar:
We all want to smell "fresh & clean" so we get all this scentsy crap (harmful toxins) up in there, and simultaneously eat a bunch of sugar and end up in a mess (am I right?) and THEN we go and we get “Diflucan”. I would go and get that prescription filled like I was cashing my cheque on pay day and had -$15 dollars in my account and no overdraft. Pill down - and bam – happy gina again. Sweet, I love magic!Well I have since learned that the vagina loves good bacteria (probiotics ) as does the rest of your body, so using Diflucan not only wipes out the bad, but the good too. If you want to have a "fresh" situation it's really about what you are not doing as to opposed to what you are doing - example, as I mention what you eat and really the lack of anything that will disrupt the ph and wipe out the good bacteria. The vagina is happiest when left to it's own accord.
Please see Organically Clean on facebook for more information on the dangers of fragrance.
www.organicallyclean.ca
www.organicallyclean.ca
Undergarments:
The other thing that I have come to realize is mega important is underwear. Yeah so newsflash non-breathable bottoms can leave you the victim of crotch rot. You know exactly what I mean…I won’t name names but a certain type of yoga pants can be largely to blame. Synthetic non-cotton underwear can give you issues as well. When I was a kid mom used to insist that we didn’t wear underwear to bed because our “bums couldn’t breath”. Imagine me going to sleepovers and loudly announcing “I have to take off my underwear because my mom says my bum needs to breath.” Uh…yeah the other moms were like “wtf put that shit back on you weirdo!” There is something to be said about a free-bum, both the front and the back bum - it's just happy. A couple of my friends have been convincing me to come to the dark side and be a free-spirited-bum and give up my undies. It took me so long but now I don’t think I will ever go back. My ginestein is so friggen happy.Sexy time:
So I am pretty sure it’s safe for me to say that if your petunia isn't happy your man's penis is also down in the dumps (pun intended, but that's a hole other post). I don’t know about you but my v-giggity likes to be french kissed (that was polite right?), cuddled and caressed. That ain’t happenin’ if she’s not on her a-game, mostly because I am super self-conscious. I find that lube is a big culprit of cranky crotch, condoms and anything that hasn’t passed the happy-vagina-inspection. It’s sensitive down there, you wouldn’t allow just anything in your mouth so why would your sacred slot (coming up with fancy names for little lulu has proven to be super fun) be open to toxins? That being said the Winner of Best Lube goes to….Coconut Oil! OhMAGAWD. Best. My vagina is so happy, and it’s makes the penis shiny – who doesn’t like a shiny penis? (Quote: Tessa Janke).Also if you are focused on doing a candida/sugar cleanse it's good to suggest your man/woman do one too because saliva and body fluids will be passed back and forth and keep the offender striking.
Side note about sexy time: something that plagues me around that 14th day of my cycle, give or take, is how to prevent the relentless tadpoles from busting in and transforming my empty womb into a baby squatting location for 40 weeks. Can I get what what? So birth control – ugh fack, my hormones are under enough stress thanks. Condoms – yeah latex I love being reminded of the day we dissected a frog in grade 12 science lab, PLUS I’m pretty sure no one who is in a committed relationship even knows where to find them in the pharmacy anymore. Are they next to the compression socks, cause I know where to find those cause they are awesome. Spermacide? Oh 1929 called they need to recall those cans for high toxic/insanely stupid ideas along with lysol douches and cocaine in coca-cola (interestingly enough coca-cola has been proven to work as a spermicide) . So what are you left with, rhythm method? I know a lot of kids named Screw That. If life below seems like a jungle safari gone wrong, maybe you need to talk to someone about a different type of birth control - because the culprit can often be your pill.
If you are not happy with something your partner is doing, or you are bored out of your bush, speak up! You are the vagina-advocate, you deserve orgasms and only you know how to get there. All periwinkles are made differently so get to know if you like figure 8's or counterclockwise. It’s made a huge difference for us since we started pillow talking. I feel heard, I feel respected and I feel loved. I didn’t know that Danny would be so open to direction and it works both ways. Open up the communication and your velvet box won't collapse shut at the poke of a boner (this is not intended to be directed only at straight people but well, boner is fun to say). We have been together almost 7 years and there were things neither of us had talked about. It’s never too far gone to spice things up a bit and usually it’s as easy as a flick of a finger :) It's working together to create something solid, like building a Popsicle stick tower for your grade 4 science contest to see if can withstand massive amount of weight and pressure. (Whoa, I am not saying there should be any weight or pressure involved in sex, unless you request it?)
Something to check out! -------------
I have recently had the pleasure of talking to and getting to know the editor of Eco Fashion magazine. They are a sustainably focused online magazine that sheds light on how to live a healthy eco-friendly life from clothing, to beauty products, to food, to condoms/lube. I was thrilled to read their post called “Fifty Shades of Green” about organic condoms/lube and how non-organic condoms increase the frequency of UTI’s, and ain’t nobody got time for that! Please visit the post – for yourself and for your daughters who at some point, I hate to tell ya, will be sexually active and will want to treat their wisdom wallets with kindness and consideration.
http://efmagazine.com/2013/02/07/fifty-shades-of-green/
DIVA CUP. If I haven't ranted to you about this life-changer, well then consider yourself saved of about an hour of listening to me wave my hands frantically in the air and jumping up and down. No more absorbent toxic tampons, no more pads chillin like a sandwhich left in a hot car - just a comfy awesome fitting catch-all making your period closer to a delightful experience rather than the week from hot mess hell. Eco-friendly, no more waste/garbage and no more needing to produce these materials that take up valuable natural resources and use energy to make! It's not associated with toxic shock syndrome as it cannot absorb and hold bacteria so wonderful for young girls as well. And last but certainly not least - it's $40 and that's all you ever have to spend again! Genius. Friggen Genius.
http://divacup.com/?gclid=CO_Nh43JnbcCFWNxQgodDEQAAg
Hair down there: May I just take a moment to say that I have no evidence that your muff-coiffe affects your crotch health or happiness, however please do what makes YOU feel comfortable. If you don't want to rock the bald eagle, don't. If you like some racing stripes or a lightning bolt cool, but do what is right for you - not put on you by porn or societal pressure. No man ever said "ew yuck I don't want to do you because you have a muffro". Believe me, they love vagina that much. Beggars can't be choosers. I did an experiment when I was single for a short time back in my early 20's and I have a whole spiel about how I had a bush and it was on purpose and if they didn't like it they could leave - long story short, no one ever left. I hope my dad is not reading this.
AND THEN…(no and then). Watch this clip it’s super short and on a scale from one to clapping at the coffee shop by myself and giggling – it was awkward when people looked at me let me tell ya.
http://vimeo.com/42297190
http://vimeo.com/42297190
Past Trauma:
I am not an expert in this area, but if you have been abused or had an extremely traumatic child birthing experience - you are not alone, and there are people willing to help. It may seem like when things are in the past that they don't affect us but if there is any kind of tension or anxiety around your Yoni or intense feelings of vulnerability - maybe check out a Body Talk counsellor (or someone in the filed of healing). See also Chakra healing!Your Period aka your MOON CYCLE:
I have already written a large post about this http://gracesprogress.blogspot.ca/2013/01/what-do-she-ra-and-my-period-have-in.html so I won't add anything here other than this:DIVA CUP. If I haven't ranted to you about this life-changer, well then consider yourself saved of about an hour of listening to me wave my hands frantically in the air and jumping up and down. No more absorbent toxic tampons, no more pads chillin like a sandwhich left in a hot car - just a comfy awesome fitting catch-all making your period closer to a delightful experience rather than the week from hot mess hell. Eco-friendly, no more waste/garbage and no more needing to produce these materials that take up valuable natural resources and use energy to make! It's not associated with toxic shock syndrome as it cannot absorb and hold bacteria so wonderful for young girls as well. And last but certainly not least - it's $40 and that's all you ever have to spend again! Genius. Friggen Genius.
http://divacup.com/?gclid=CO_Nh43JnbcCFWNxQgodDEQAAg
Hair down there: May I just take a moment to say that I have no evidence that your muff-coiffe affects your crotch health or happiness, however please do what makes YOU feel comfortable. If you don't want to rock the bald eagle, don't. If you like some racing stripes or a lightning bolt cool, but do what is right for you - not put on you by porn or societal pressure. No man ever said "ew yuck I don't want to do you because you have a muffro". Believe me, they love vagina that much. Beggars can't be choosers. I did an experiment when I was single for a short time back in my early 20's and I have a whole spiel about how I had a bush and it was on purpose and if they didn't like it they could leave - long story short, no one ever left. I hope my dad is not reading this.
Summary!
So we have briefly addressed, food, good bacteria, sex, moon-cycles, clothing, emotional consideration, birth control, hairstyles and for me - the overall honouring of my voluptuous vessel.So here's what up at the end of the day - your lotus flower will let you know loud and clear when the body is going through some shit...but we rarely listen close enough. We are like “shut your mouth” well actually we are like "uh you have an odd likeness to a mouth, so just shut yourself" and we give no care to the love glove. The vagina is reliable and she talks loud and clear but we have never been taught how to listen.
Philosophical moment:
Let the vagina speak to you and through you.
All vaginas are different. The labia minora range from 20mm to 100mm! If you haven't already please watch The Perfect Vagina documentary and make friends with your silky envelope!
http://vimeo.com/groups/43127/videos/4704237
http://vimeo.com/groups/43127/videos/4704237
So really there are so many things to think about – but the point of this is not to overwhelm you it’s to just pass on the joy that I have gotten from having a mindful/happy vagina (for lack of a better term).
When momma’s vagina is happy – er’body friggen happy!
When momma’s vagina is happy – er’body friggen happy!
Celebrate the Yoni bitches! By NO coincidence Yoni is the Sanskrit word for Vagina and that's right up my alley (I did it again!)
Please stay tuned for the next blog Post “A tight wire act: reclaiming the boobies”.
This is a picture of female hysteria:
Vagina's rock!
With Love and Gratitude,
Grace Karyn
Disclaimer: I am not a doctor, naturopath or even well verse in biology, I just have a vagina and my suggestions for women are all intended to help you find your happiest self and thus - your partner, children, friends and family will directly benefit from that. Please remember this is opinion based and made up of my own experience and research. Being a Feminist has had many strap-ons with negative connotations throughout history and to me it means unleashing your innate inner power and love and equality for all humanity!!! So go on now girl’, take your biznass and own that shit.
Disclaimer: I am not a doctor, naturopath or even well verse in biology, I just have a vagina and my suggestions for women are all intended to help you find your happiest self and thus - your partner, children, friends and family will directly benefit from that. Please remember this is opinion based and made up of my own experience and research. Being a Feminist has had many strap-ons with negative connotations throughout history and to me it means unleashing your innate inner power and love and equality for all humanity!!! So go on now girl’, take your biznass and own that shit.
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