Journey to Mee-dom

I had a real shit day. So I went to yoga tonight. I went ...I didn't teach . I often forget how important it is to go to a class, and take it in. To be pushed outside what I think I want to do. My body holds on so damn tight. If I am home practicing alone, when I get to the brink of release, I will hop off my mat and my body doesn't get the release it needs. I could feel it but I didn't know what "it" was.  I needed to get into my body and let it tell me some stories. About halfway through the class, I noticed I felt angry at Aly - who is both my friend and one of my favourite teachers. It wasn't a logical angry and it didn't have a concrete thought like "I don't like this class" or what she is teaching. It was more like she was pushing me a bit and I didn't want to be pushed. My body was trying to protect me...cause what needed to come up was big. Deep down I knew it, so I resisted it hard. It was sneaky as hell. It was like, reluct...

Warning: this might be the most uncomfortable, most vulnerable post I have written to date. I have sat with it for a while. Please be gentle with your comments, and your judgements even if you keep them to yourself. Take a breath and step into Empathy. There's also a lot of heat and passion in this, and swearing. I hope you can hold space. I'm also not worried about spelling or grammar - so hold space for that too. Namaste. Not too long ago I had some guy from high school, that I had on facebook (key word is "had"), write me to say hello and to tell me he thought I was looking really great these days. I thought "wow!" what a compliment, since I am in fact working hard on my health and I thought it was cool that it showed over facespace. It made me feel really happy, at first. As we chatted a bit and caught up (all of which I was hoping was innocent pleasantries) at the back of my mind I thought to myself "I wonder what he wants ". That made me ...